Excerpts: “In evolutionary terms, it makes sense that when you feel vulnerable, you keep an extra lookout for signs of threat. But when you are trying to come back from a dark place, the mental filter is something to be aware of” (p. 25).

“Use the Feeling Wheel (Wilcox, 1982) to help you find the words to describe how you feel” (p. 117). https://www.uwlax.edu/globalassets/offices-services/counseling/the-gottman-institute_the-feeling-wheel.pdf

“Acceptance is not the same as liking or agreeing with the situation” (p. 137).

“Many self-help gurus and motivational speakers talk about how the chances of being born are one in 400 trillion. This idea is hard to even comprehend and forces us to spend time trying to acknowledge how fortunate we must be to have this chance to live, even for a short time” (p. 262).

“The focus is not on what you want to happen for you but on the kind of person you want to be, the contribution you want to make and the attitude you want to face life with, no matter what happens” (p. 292).

Smith, Dr Julie, (2022). Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? New York: HarperCollins Publishers.